I could not be vulnerable with women for similar reasons as why many men won’t be vulnerable with women today- risks of being attacked, judged, penalized, emotionally blackmailed, rejected…
I didn’t grow up with sis or female friends where I felt comfortable being vulnerable with, my Mom & I didn’t have the kind of relationship where “talking” is a form of bonding (instead of fighting).
Like many, vulnerability got me burnt.
It was highly difficult for me to trust girls, particularly white girls, after her.
Learning how to be trust someone was F*****G hard.
Learning how to trust myself, was harder.
This is an important skill I wish I learned earlier.
Like any skill, it takes practice to use a tool.
Time & effort sharpens use of a tool.
Like any tool, if you keep bringing it to the wrong setting, it doesn’t work.
No matter how much you wish it, a hammer will not fit a screw.
What I learned :
1. Be vulnerable with myself FIRST
2. Understand how I want to be supported
3. PICK YOUR PEOPLE (not every one is capable or ready to support you)
One of my many mantras:
If I ask of someone to take risks with me, I need to trust myself to handle it for the both of us, and vice versa.
This is likely the reason why that when I DO get lucky & meet women who I can be real with, I treasure those connections.
The action behind @mentalmusclemafia is challenging for my spirit, as it feels like it’s just taking beating after beating from despair of external resistance.
But it’s time like this where a session makes it all worth it #HopeOfHumanity
We’re running the next circle with all men on the 28th of Nov in Hong Kong
If you and I have not been chatting about this yet, and empowering men sounds like something you want to stand for – get in touch ❤️🔥